Just a few days ago, I was going through my pictures and videos that I took in Germany. Yeah, I got nostalgic :) Anyways, so I came across a video that I took of my 7th grade German and Computer Science class. I was actually part of the 11th grade, but I took 2 German classes, and one of them was with the 7th grade (it's more grammar based). If you know some German, this shouldn't be too hard to understand, but they're basically rapping about a poem.
What I find interesting though, is the way guys act in an all-male setting. In our German class, there were only 2 other girls besides me (but that's close enough). The teacher is also a man in his 30s. As I was observing that class, I realized how different it was from co-ed classrooms..kind of funny, considering how my debate paper in education class at Vanderbilt happened to be about whether same gender classrooms were more beneficial than mixed gender classrooms.
But anyways, my main point is...
Through being in this all-guys classroom and living with three foster host brothers, I realized that most boys are insecure about themselves in a way that could very likely be self-destructing. In that class (a class specialized for the Information Technology track), most guys assume that guys should be the tech savvy ones. From talking with them, watching their actions, body language, and paying attention to the words they say, I see a big problem boiling.
They have a completely warped idea of what a man should be. And actually, is there even a "should be?" Why can't they just be individuals?
They think that guys should not show emotion. That guys should be good at sports. That guys, in general, should be a man and not a wuss, pussy, or whatever other word they choose to use. And you hear that a lot. It was especially apparent at the time in this kind of setting, and because I was purposefully trying to look past the face value of everything these boys said. In a way, this all-boys classroom was extremely beneficial, because as much as some people would disagree, guys are fundamentally different from girls. And for most of these boys, having a male teacher as their role model was extremely important. A role model that was someone younger than their parents (for the most part), had expectations, and knew that he wanted to influence more than the academics.
But even if males and females are different, does that mean that the males lose their right to be their true selves? I see them with masks on 90% of the time, and I always wonder what I can do, even as a female teacher, to show boys that they don't have to cave in to this unfortunate, media perpetuated, culturally idealized idea that a man is someone who is associated with video games/technology, violence, cussing, showing no emotions, and the list goes on...
I cringed every time a guy in the class would say something like:
"Dude, why you such a girl?"
"Be a man!"
"You like those things? Ew."
"Look at my muscles!"
Oh society and cultures.
Sometimes I see guys in the gym, trying to bench press so much, that they could literally die. Or when they play too much sports, to the point that they overuse their body and hurt themselves. Why does this happen? Part of it might be because they love the sport or whatever it is too much, and obviously, a fondness of competition. But what about the other part, about fitting into the mold of the so called "man?"
Anyways, these were just some things I saw in Germany, but I'm sure they are definitely not constricted to Germany..because I see it in the US, too. It's all too clear. A part of me wants to laugh, the other part of me feels like crap that each gender has those things they need to "live up to." Because unfortunately, all of this goes for females too.
But hey, is it only me, or have you also seen that gender roles seem to be universal?
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