Today I woke up to this greeting from my parents--it was part of the family text chain, and though it was meant for my grandpa over in China, I figured it could be for me too (since I'm not close to home):
Mid-Autumn Festival is supposed to be the time when you get together with your family and eat moon cakes. The moon is supposed to convey the sense of wholeness or oneness with family. And ever since going to Germany, I realized that my host family will always be a part of my family, too. Extended family. And even though I don't always show it, I really do care.
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| My family is enjoying moon cakes right now. Thanks for rubbing it in! |
But at the same time, Mid-Autumn Festival reminds me of everyone who doesn't necessarily have a family who creates and fosters a loving, supportive environment. My host mom is a social worker with three foster boys. Whenever I think about them, I just can't help but wonder what it was like before they were taken in. There was also another student who went to Germany with me, and he was, prior to receiving the scholarship, homeless in New York. He stole clothes to stay clothed, and his dad gambled all their money away. When I had no food to eat in Germany due to my initial host family issues (before switching host families), he was the one who brought me to the food kitchen so I could stay healthy. I guess the closest I ever came to being homeless was that moment when I sat on the bench outside with a loaf of bread and no home to return to. But I knew it was only temporary (though it did not seem like it at the time).
I realized that there are so many people who are scared of having families, because they never got to experience a true one. I have seen so many of these people become so happy when they finally found a relationship they could depend on. But then they also became devastated when they were left alone--they thought they lost everything, though they didn't. I grew up around so many of these people. And those foster kids? Many of them think that once someone moves away, or when they move away, it's gone. Many are scared of exchange. I don't blame them, because heck, moving from family to family is already an exchange. What more exchange do they need?
Currently, I am in a Christian sorority at my school, and our theme for both recruitment and semi-formal is "Home is wherever I'm with you." I see the US as my first home, China as my second home, and Germany as my third home. I see the world as my home. And although I love to travel, I know that it's not really the place that matters. It's the people. It's the wonderful relationships you create every time you go somewhere new. But what happens when you lose contact or something goes wrong? That was what one person in my community had asked me. And it's also the question that foster kids ask me.
I don't know if she ever knew; if she could ever tell. But every time I looked at her, I could see her, as well as remnants of other people within her. It was so clear to me. It was as if I saw those other people inside her--some were good, some were bad. Remember to guard your heart against evil. That deserves no place in you. Everyone you come in contact with will always have a piece of you, as well as everyone else they came in contact with, inside of them. You have already influenced them, and they are forever indebted to you. They would not be them without you. So you see, when all of it becomes intertwined, people really aren't that different from one another. I always told her there was nothing to be sad about. But I knew it would take her a long time to actually get what I was saying.
In a sense, exchanges work the same way. When you come into contact with a new culture, that culture will always be a part of you. Sometimes it's more visible; other times, it's more subtle. I definitely see it everyday.
In conclusion, I would like to say this: if you have a loving family that is alive and well, be thankful. Be so thankful. It's a gift. And if you don't, or think you don't, know that you are not the only one. Also know that if you truly live in a way that is loving towards others, you will find one soon.
Open. Be open. That's what exchange is about. Let good things flow into you, and let it become a part of you. Because something amazing will come along. Home is wherever the goodness is, so choose your peers and friends carefully when you are abroad. Remember this: what do you want to be a part of you?
Alright, I'll be signing off for now. From my side of town to your side of town, Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!
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