Have you ever used the same word as someone else, but there was still a complete disconnect? Or if you've participated in a Lincoln-Douglas debate before, I'm pretty sure you would know what I am talking about. In debate, definitions are of highest importance. If someone does not make sense, it is most likely because you and them are on entirely different playing fields and dimensions.
Before I give an example, allow me to give some context:
People may often hear me using the word "love." I say that "love" is my favorite attribute in people, because it encompasses everything that is good. In using the Bible as my guideline, "love" has the following definition:
1 Cor. 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love is: patience, kindness, valuing others' happiness, humility, truth, protection, trust, hope, perseverance, and most of all, sacrifice. God defines himself as love.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
Love is the only thing that lasts forever. Knowledge, tongues, prophecy...everything else will be gone when the old world is done.
So in the light of this definition, let me give an example of how love can be absolutely and unfortunately misunderstood when there is a lack of discernment.
This past summer, I went to a Korean church. Perhaps it is my lack of Korean culture awareness or just my awkwardness that landed me in this situation.
My first encounter was when I volunteered to take care of kids at a church event. At first, it was going fine. I chatted with some people and helped occasionally with snacks. Later, I went into another room to play with young children. As I walked over to the other room, this man came up to me and asked if I was okay and if I was in a relationship. I thought those two questions were not fitting for a stranger to ask so directly, but I didn't think much of it. Asians, you know, can get quite blunt for no apparent reason.
My second encounter was when I went on a weekend retreat with a group of college students. It is typical to make "encouragement envelopes," where each person gets their own envelope and others' are free to write you a "care card." On each envelope, there was a picture with your name under it. Everyone's envelope looked pretty normal, except for mine, which had a typewriter with a checklist with hearts, X's, and check marks on them. At that point, I was slightly taken aback. Church is a place to worship and fellowship with your family of brothers and sisters...not an eHarmony, Christian Mingle, or Tinder site.
My third encounter was when we were getting ready to go boating. At that time, a few people came up to me and asked, "Do you love (insert Korean name that I can't remember here) too?" At that point, I was at a loss for words. It was clear to me that they had all thought I was "in love" with multiple people in College Group, though that was never the case. The Bible always makes it clear that people should love others more than themselves and that we should love in God's way. But I think when he was asking me that question, he was looking for an answer to, "Are you attracted to him?" What they don't see is that when you get to sense people, this question will not cross your mind. Everyone will just be beautiful. On Earth, people are beautiful, but they do evil things. In Heaven, people are beautiful, and they will do beautiful things. But currently, we live on Earth, so the best thing we can do is love according to God's definition.
It always makes me sad when a person does not know his value. Without knowing his value, he can never know the true value of others. Does it matter so much to have one man or woman to tell you how much you are worth? Clearly, this is also a gift, as God uses his people to build one another up. But in the end, God lets us know that everyone is messed up, broken, dead. Only he who is perfect has the right to judge, and only the value that he puts on you matters the slightest bit. Would you rather have all the broken people in the world tell you that you are "worth it," or have God tell you that you are worth it?
My mom used to always tell me, "Michelle, I think you see almost everyone as better than they actually are. Don't trust so easily." And while this may be true, the reason why she thinks that is because maybe she doesn't see what they were supposed to be. Maybe that's also why I get very disappointed when they suddenly do something that goes against all they could be. It's almost like I attempt to prove to myself that they aren't as bad as I was told. At the same time, this is God proving to me that no one is perfect--everyone will sin. People need to realize that in over-protecting themselves, they cannot possibly add anything wonderful to the world.
My main point, I guess, is this: Love according to God's definition. He made this world. You live in the world. When you follow the instruction manual, everything will go right. If you choose to function on your own definition of love, you will not only not find what you were looking for, but you will also lose in the process.
My German host family used to ask me why Americans smiled so much. I told them that smiling is a marker for being happy. They told me that in Germany, people don't smile as much because it then "reduces" the value of a smile. But I don't think that that is necessarily true. When you practice your virtues every day, they can only grow in size. So love every day, love according to the one who created the concept of love--the one who is love-- and you can never, ever go wrong. When you get to Heaven, there will be a beautiful infiltration of pure Agape that you just can't find here.
It always comes back to the definition of your values--when you have different values than the Creator, everything will look like nonsense. But when you are in line with Him, everything will make sense, and you can anchor your hope in something that lasts for eternity...because eternity exists. There is a beautiful future, but only if you dare to believe in it. I know for sure that people would never want to go back to their broken selves if only they knew what was ahead.
This past summer, I went to a Korean church. Perhaps it is my lack of Korean culture awareness or just my awkwardness that landed me in this situation.
My first encounter was when I volunteered to take care of kids at a church event. At first, it was going fine. I chatted with some people and helped occasionally with snacks. Later, I went into another room to play with young children. As I walked over to the other room, this man came up to me and asked if I was okay and if I was in a relationship. I thought those two questions were not fitting for a stranger to ask so directly, but I didn't think much of it. Asians, you know, can get quite blunt for no apparent reason.
My second encounter was when I went on a weekend retreat with a group of college students. It is typical to make "encouragement envelopes," where each person gets their own envelope and others' are free to write you a "care card." On each envelope, there was a picture with your name under it. Everyone's envelope looked pretty normal, except for mine, which had a typewriter with a checklist with hearts, X's, and check marks on them. At that point, I was slightly taken aback. Church is a place to worship and fellowship with your family of brothers and sisters...not an eHarmony, Christian Mingle, or Tinder site.
My third encounter was when we were getting ready to go boating. At that time, a few people came up to me and asked, "Do you love (insert Korean name that I can't remember here) too?" At that point, I was at a loss for words. It was clear to me that they had all thought I was "in love" with multiple people in College Group, though that was never the case. The Bible always makes it clear that people should love others more than themselves and that we should love in God's way. But I think when he was asking me that question, he was looking for an answer to, "Are you attracted to him?" What they don't see is that when you get to sense people, this question will not cross your mind. Everyone will just be beautiful. On Earth, people are beautiful, but they do evil things. In Heaven, people are beautiful, and they will do beautiful things. But currently, we live on Earth, so the best thing we can do is love according to God's definition.
It always makes me sad when a person does not know his value. Without knowing his value, he can never know the true value of others. Does it matter so much to have one man or woman to tell you how much you are worth? Clearly, this is also a gift, as God uses his people to build one another up. But in the end, God lets us know that everyone is messed up, broken, dead. Only he who is perfect has the right to judge, and only the value that he puts on you matters the slightest bit. Would you rather have all the broken people in the world tell you that you are "worth it," or have God tell you that you are worth it?
My mom used to always tell me, "Michelle, I think you see almost everyone as better than they actually are. Don't trust so easily." And while this may be true, the reason why she thinks that is because maybe she doesn't see what they were supposed to be. Maybe that's also why I get very disappointed when they suddenly do something that goes against all they could be. It's almost like I attempt to prove to myself that they aren't as bad as I was told. At the same time, this is God proving to me that no one is perfect--everyone will sin. People need to realize that in over-protecting themselves, they cannot possibly add anything wonderful to the world.
My main point, I guess, is this: Love according to God's definition. He made this world. You live in the world. When you follow the instruction manual, everything will go right. If you choose to function on your own definition of love, you will not only not find what you were looking for, but you will also lose in the process.
My German host family used to ask me why Americans smiled so much. I told them that smiling is a marker for being happy. They told me that in Germany, people don't smile as much because it then "reduces" the value of a smile. But I don't think that that is necessarily true. When you practice your virtues every day, they can only grow in size. So love every day, love according to the one who created the concept of love--the one who is love-- and you can never, ever go wrong. When you get to Heaven, there will be a beautiful infiltration of pure Agape that you just can't find here.
It always comes back to the definition of your values--when you have different values than the Creator, everything will look like nonsense. But when you are in line with Him, everything will make sense, and you can anchor your hope in something that lasts for eternity...because eternity exists. There is a beautiful future, but only if you dare to believe in it. I know for sure that people would never want to go back to their broken selves if only they knew what was ahead.
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